Notes to Myself

Don’t forget, you’ve already done this once. 

Remember that year when you took a huge leap? 

And things were tough, really tough that first year. By May all you wanted was to crawl home to your bed, just as you are doing now. You were broken, and beaten, and left out, and lonely. 

And then, summer changed you. You felt excited again. Camp changed you, you came back to yourself, you felt what it was like to be loved and adored by someone. 

And yet, you were still terrified. Of course you were. After the way you left? After the amount of darkness you experienced between November and May of 2008 and 2009? Of course you were.

But somehow, you still went back. You still believed in second chances. You went back and you found O, ST and NN and they changed everything. You went back and became more of yourself, you triumphed, you soared, you found happiness, and you left with, quite literally, the last word. 

So I know, this is terrifying. Everything is terrifying. But that didn’t stop you once, when you were seventeen and just as tired. So it can’t stop you now. You still believe in second chances, remember? You still believe that once in a lifetime friendships happen twice. 

So don’t you dare give up. 

This isn’t over yet.